Lessons learned from latest cyberbullying tragedy

• Rebecca Sedwick%2C of Lakeland%2C Fla.%2C committed suicide after she was bullied
• Cyberbullying is bullying through technology
• Parents have to teach kids how to use the technology appropriately%2C doctor says

Cyberbullying is back in the headlines after two Florida girls — 12 and 14 — were arrested on felony charges for allegedly taunting and bullying a 12-year-old girl who jumped to her death last month from an abandoned cement factory tower.

One of the suspects is accused of posting a message on the Internet saying the victim should "drink bleach and die."

Cyberbullying involves harassment online. It's any bullying through technology. Rebecca Sedwick of Lakeland, Fla., who died Sept. 9, was picked on for months by as many as 15 girls through online message boards and texts. Sedwick was bullied on sites such as Ask.fm, Kik, Instagram and Voxer.

"This is one of the more tragic cyberbullying stories of recent times," says pediatrician Gwenn O'Keeffe, co-author of the American Academy of Pediatrics' social media report. She is also the author of CyberSafe, a book published by the American Academy of Pediatrics. "It's the perfect storm of cyberbullying leading to the worst case outcome."

The story is also a wake-up call to parents, schools and communities that they need to take cyberbullying more seriously by keeping a closer watch over children and their use of the Internet and cellphones starting at young ages, she says.

As soon as children go online, parents need to begin teaching their kids about the digital world, she says. Those discussions should include things such as appropriate sites to be on, and parents should set boundaries on what sites their children can use, she says.

Joseph Wright, a pediatrician at Children's National Health System in Washington, D.C., says that by third grade, 75% of kids have been exposed to bullying, the majority as bystanders. "It's a pervasive behavior," he says.

Most bullying is done by kids who your kids know, so parents need to keep communication completely open, especially when children move from elementary school age to adolescence. That way their kids feel safe and comfortable talking with them, he says.

There are a lot of opportunities, such as this unfortunate case, to talk to kids about bullying. "These are teachable moments to explain what bullying is and the potential consequences," Wright says.

If parents know their child is a bully, Wright suggests getting professional help from a pediatrician, medical professional or mental health expert rather than trying to tackle it alone. "Bullies are at greater risk of long-term negative consequences than their victims," he says. "They need help as much as their victims do."

To cut down on the risk of their child becoming a bully, parents need to address behavioral and mental health issues as they arise, O'Keeffe says.

"Parents have to have a handle on what their kids are doing online and offline, especially tweens and younger teens," she says, because they have a limited ability for self-regulation. "You want to raise your kids on how to use the digital world smartly just like you raise them to live in the world smartly," she says.

"Parents have to teach the kids how to treat people nicely online, the way they would teach them to treat people nicely offline," O'Keeffe says. "The take-home message of a story like this is that the more we are involved with our kids and the more we take seriously what our kids do, the more we can help them."

She suggests that families work together to create a family media plan, which sets guidelines for the use of technology for everyone in the family, including both parents and kids. The kids can hold the parents accountable, she says: "We're not the best role models all the time. We slip too."

Here are some guidelines for media use from O'Keeffe.

For kids and teens:

•Don't give out personal information online or by text, and avoid all chat rooms except ones parents have looked at and approved.

•Understand that parents have a right to check into your media history on your computer and phone and other devices such as iTouch, games and whatever else they use regularly.

For parents:

•Check what your kids are doing online and on their phones. Consider using parent controls, and use them judiciously.

•Let your kids know before checking their computers.

•Take the time to be interested in what your kids are doing online and in the digital world, and talk to them about that world.

•Help your kids make good media choices.

•If your child makes a mistake, ask questions and learn what happened before punishing them or taking away technology.

For the family:

•Have technology-free times such as meals, weekends and vacations.

•Don't text or talk on a cellphone while driving.

•Don't use cellphones in a public location where it may annoy others.

•Don't use technology to harm others by engaging in bullying or slanderous actions.