'I survived': living with the scars of domestic abuse

Editor's note: This story is part of an eight-day series on domestic violence in Central Louisiana.

Paula Green Shackleford was barely old enough to be a high school graduate when an ex-boyfriend broke into her Tioga home and nearly killed her 23 years ago.

“June 7, 1993 … That’s when he stabbed me,” Shackleford said. “I was 18 years old.”

“For some reason, teen dating violence has been swept under the rug for many years,” said Carolyne Hoyt, director and founder of NextSTEP of Central Louisiana Inc. “But it is a real issue. Our young adults face dangerous situations in their relationships, and often do so without anyone else knowing how bad their situation is.”

Shackleford and Tyrone Sanders, 27, were in an on-and-off relationship for many months, despite Shackleford’s multiple attempts to leave and end the relationship.

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“The more I told him I didn’t want to be with him, the more abusive he became. He would stalk me, and follow me around stores and show up at my house," Shackleford said. "I was scared at the time, so mostly I went back to him just because I was scared of what he would do when I left.”

“The verbal abuse started early, but then the mental abuse and physical abuse started and that’s when it got really bad,” she recalled.

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, women between the ages of 18-24 are more likely to be a victim of domestic abuse than any other age group. One in seven women, and one in 18 men, have been stalked by a current or ex-partner at some point in their lives.

Shackleford wanted help. She told family and friends, and she called law enforcement officials numerous times when Sanders hurt her.

“It was a different time then," she said. "I was a white girl dating a black guy, and we lived in a small community. I felt like people looked down on me for being with him, and for what happened. Like they never wanted to help."

Shackleford ended her relationship with Sanders and told him, “I don’t want to be with you. You need to leave me alone,” but he continued to contact her for weeks following the breakup.

The day she was stabbed, she was at home with her 1-year-old daughter, her niece and nephew.

“I was at home with the kids, waiting for my roommate to get off from work. My roommate’s friend was at the house that evening, too, so we were just watching TV in the living room,” she said. “Well, he (Sanders) had been calling me all day, threatening me. So I was already paranoid, but then I kept hearing noises outside. I called 911. While I was on the phone with them, I could hear the window shatter in the room that my niece and nephew were sleeping in.”

Sanders had made his way into the house through that window.

“He was yelling at me, calling me names,” Shackleford said. “My roommate’s friend tried to fight him, but he (Tyrone) ended up stabbing him seven times. After that, he came after me with the knife.”

He stabbed her three times — in the chest, stomach and head.

“It was an 13-inch butcher knife that he got from my kitchen,” Paula said.

The 911 operator was still on the phone.

“I told them who he was and what was going on. I told them that I was stabbed," she said. "They said they wanted me to stay on the line because responders were on their way to my house.”

The first responder on the scene was an officer.

“When the police arrived, he (Sanders) portrayed that he was a victim, and he hid the knife. So when the officer got too close to him, just wondering what was going on, he stabbed him, too before stealing the police car.”

She remembers waiting for help to arrive.

“I was in shock. I was scared, and I was getting weak because I was losing a lot of blood," she said. "The children were trying to help. They brought me towels. …I was worried about what might happen to my daughter if I died, so I kept telling the operator details — who my mom was, what my child's name was ... I thought I might die."

EMS responders took Shackleford to the hospital, where she had emergency reconstructive surgery on her liver and received more than 100 stitches.

"I have scars on my chest and my stomach," Shackleford said. "I have health issues because of him, and because of where he stabbed me at. But I'm alive ... I survived."

After a high-speed chase, police caught and arrested Sanders in Jackson Parish.

According to a 1993 Town Talk article, Sanders pleaded guilty to three counts of attempted first-degree murder and two counts of armed robbery.

He was sentenced to 66 years in the Louisiana State Penitentiary at Angola, without the option of parole, good time or probation.

Shackleford is happily married now with four kids, but still lives with the scars of domestic abuse.

Last year, she had to testify at parole hearing for Sanders after learning he was eligible under President Barack Obama's Fair Sentencing Act. The possibility of him getting out of prison makes Shackleford hesitant to be photographed because she worries he may try to find her.

"It is still hard to relive that day," Shackleford said, even though she is proactive about sharing her story with NextSTEP so other teenagers are aware of how dangerous an abusive situation can get.

"There are more resources available at this time then there were when I was abused," she said. "I didn’t have anyone helping me, so if telling my story can help one person and save them from getting hurt, then it’s worth it."

“So often, when a young person is abused, the effects are passed on to their children and it starts the inter-generational cycle of violence or abuse,” Hoyt said. “For someone to admit that they had little to no help in their situation, but still manage to put an end to the abuse, is a powerful thing. Victims are not weak. They are strong. But we have to reach out and help them out of a dangerous situation and put an end to this epidemic of domestic abuse.”

How to report domestic violence:

Domestic violence can be reported by the Louisiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence hotline at 1-888-411-1333 or the national hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

Child abuse and neglect can be reported to the state Department of Child and Family Services at 1-855-4LA-KIDS (1-855-452-5437).